miscellanium | Recent Entries

welcome all my honored guests~

i've used the handle miscellanium for a long time so if you've seen posts on livejournal or remember reading fics by someone with that name it was probably me. nice to meet you/run into you again!

you can call me misc for short.

current passion: lawrence dane (z"l). i don't make many locked posts so what you see is what you get, and what you'll get is a lot of me talking about the actor lawrence dane and any related historical research. feel free to subscribe for that or for general discussion of fandoms/media and creative activity, which mostly consists of writing. you can take a look at my profile for a list of other interests that might crop up from time to time.

when i'm not putting my history degrees to dubious use i enjoy chatting about films and music with an eye towards cultural studies, but i also like just hearing about what you're enjoying these days. let's get to know each other!

you can find the masterlist of all my lawrence dane movie/tv reviews here.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: gordon lightfoot - don quixote

i decided to walk away from

kidscomefirst this year like a sad ant with its bindle due to their new policy of screening all works for genai. i am staunchly against genai but i also don't like treating these exchanges like school or work assignments with a trust-nobody mentality. i'm told they're far from the first which is also a bummer to hear. at least it looks like the

consent_issues_exchange isn't doing that, and their nominations open tomorrow, so i'll keep an eye on them. november is also when the

ygorarepairs minibang starts, and since i help co-mod that one it'd probably be smarter to sit out signups for the consent exchange and just watch for pinch hits. we'll see.

i'm currently working on a fic for the "stuffed with love incest exchange", which i heard about via fedi. doesn't have much of a dreamwidth presence. i liked the low minimums and the long creation period (two months!); it was hard thinking of an idea for my recipient, but having that time let me just wait for something to materialize instead of trying to force it. here's hoping they like the result.

autumn always brings up my nostalgia for supernatural, unfortunately, so i excavated a couple decade-old wips and have been enjoying stitching them together as warmup for other writing projects. spn's interpretation of angels and vessels still has a grip on me for better or worse. if i'm satisfied with this gabe+cas fic then there's a novakcest(ish) idea i might try next, if the weather inspiration holds. something inspired by the chorus from the CSN song "southern cross".... once it starts snowing i'll probably want to switch back to a plane-crash-cannibalism hellsing fic i've been poking at for a while.

i don't like it when writing for fun doesn't feel fun. i had a great time in the latest edition of

firewhiskeyfic and am looking forward to seeing whether my submission places at all lol. here's hoping i can join the next round. in the meantime, back to ellipsus!

Current Music: simon & garfunkel - el condor pasa (if i could)

he is barely in this so there's not much to highlight. check out this who's who of canadian character actors instead. i don't know why lloyd bochner got higher billing when i only recognized him in one scene and they don't replay his dialogue the way they do dane's. and why does dane's character have a name when i don't remember them using it? it would have been funny to see gary reineke in the same room as dane yet again, but alas.

the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 0/5

the plot: a very leathery-looking kris kristofferson plays an NTSB inspector (ah, back in the days when mundane federal agencies were respected and not being disemboweled by fascists) who is tasked with looking into an airplane crash. the black box recording has one of the pilots exclaiming about how all of the passengers were already burned before they crash, so he insists on investigating further. this insistence leads him to cross paths with cheryl ladd, a time traveller with a group trying to rescue humanity from their own dead-end fate by snatching people from accidents that originally killed them and replacing them with premade corpses. lawrence dane plays the pilot at the beginning of the film.

i was originally going to mark this as "unrated" because i went in already knowing he dies in the first three minutes, but i decided to give the whole movie a fair shake just based on the premise. this was a mistake because the movie eventually got my hopes up that i might see him again only to cruelly dash said hopes against the rocks of subpar adaptation. they introduce the body-replacement plot element pretty early on, but it's not really elaborated on until maybe halfway through. at that point they explain more of the process, including showing us a holding pen with the survivors from the crash, so i started thinking "oh, maybe they rescued the pilots too!" watched all the way to the end and no. no they did not. fuck the pilots i guess! it wasn't even the fun(?) nudity ending.

it's a solid premise with some great prosthetic and practical effects, but kristofferson and ladd have zero chemistry. since the film revolves around their relationship, you can see how that becomes a problem pretty quickly. there was one moment during their restaurant dinner scene that genuinely made me laugh and that was it. it wasn't the most painful thing i've watched but i did find myself checking my watch more and more as the film went on. there's a lot of ideas crammed into here but the script isn't able to do them justice; one example is that the wikipedia page for the film says something about how the time travellers chain-smoke because the past's air is too clean for them to process, which is an interesting idea, but if they actually addressed that in the script i must have blinked and missed it.

"air raid", the short story this is based on, is free to read online since it was made available by the publisher baen. it's good! very tight and effective. i can see why john varley got so many accolades so fast when he started out. i'm curious about the novel now, so i might see if i can get it from a library. varley's wikipedia page has a quote about how the film went through a production hell that killed a lot of the vision and it really does show. (maybe they rescue the pilots in the novel version?)

if you just want to see lawrence dane's scene, check out the laserdisc rip of the first few minutes uploaded by youtube user mike extra. if you want to watch the whole film, it's quite easy to find online. i haven't been able to find an upload of the international ending but honestly i haven't tried that hard and am sure it's out there. if you'd like a more thorough review of the movie itself, check out this review from moviesandrinks.com.

since there are only three screenshots, no cut. enjoy.

i'd know that profile anywhere

plane crash! the end! roll credits!

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: atobe keigo - cross with you (remix)

long time no post, whoops. my partner recently got a gender-affirming surgery and i've been off work caring for them. we've gotten back into re-watching yugioh arc-v; a hellsing buddy also likes yugioh dm and idr how we talked them into watching arc-v for the first time but they've been getting a huge kick out of it. their favorite character is gongenzaka (good choice) and we're in the middle of the synchro arc now. they keep commenting on how uncomfortable that dimension is in both social and architectural design, but it's a good thing because that means the designs are effective lol. the designs in this show really are so good!

the re-watch has been inspiring me to write about shingo again. i never really thought of myself as having a muse but i think he might be mine. after all these years he still speaks to me as intensely as ever. the show ended in 2017!! i'm not the type to just move on from fandoms (if i really like a piece of media i will keep returning to it off and on over the years) but i had an unpleasant experience with a badly-run fan event in 2018 that pretty much killed my enjoyment in writing. took me a while to find that joy again by re-reading hellsing in 2020, and people who know me for that fandom probably also know about the problems i ended up facing there as well lol. i still like hellsing and have several fics on the back burner, but shingo just makes me so happy. even when i'm writing things where he's being treated horribly. it's nice to give myself a creative break from working on depressing literary hellsing fic by working on depressing literary yugioh fic.

more seriously, i still think that for all its flaws arc-v is possibly the best spinoff to show a dm-only fan. that's how it worked for me! i hadn't seen any of the spinoffs but i saw the teasers with yuuya's design and read about the action duels and was intrigued. that's how it's been working for my hellsing buddy too. it doesn't lean on the "hey remember this thing from dm" gimmick that some of the earlier spinoffs suffered from but it's clearly inspired by many plot elements. more of a homage than a nostalgia grab. the action duels are a great idea: they give so much life to previously static duels. it's not just people standing and yelling at each other for several episodes, and the pacing is generally snappy enough that the longer duels only take two episodes. there's a couple exceptions to that rule but they're meant to be climactic outliers.

one problem (not really a problem but y'know) is that i like to write weird and uncomfortable shit. there's plenty of cute/funny stuff under my handle on ao3 but returning to hellsing helped me realize that my real bread and vegan butter these days is interiority, repression, and psychological pain. my current wip has the working title of "shungo suffering" (it's sawatari shingo/kurosaki shun, the show's designated whumping bag) and i've been looking for a beta but for some reason it's tough to find someone who wants to read a fic with a warning for "two under-18 people pressured into having sex with each other for an audience". i can't possibly imagine why! might end up posting it without a beta, we'll see. i'm just having fun writing a whole thing based on a single throwaway line in the show that made me go wait a minute, why did he say it like that?

yano shougo does such a great job as shingo (those voice cracks..... the screaming............ gives me cute aggression out the wazoo) so i decided to look up what he's worked on since then and apparently he's the main character in a 2019 BL called given? i feel like i've heard of it but i worry that my allergy to main characters will kick in lol. he's also in some one-off called pretty boy detective club and it seems like his character in that might be kind of similar to shingo. i might check out one or both.

i've been trying to read more books though, since my job now has a lot of screen time, and i've been really enjoying both moby dick and the kindly ones (english translation). i'm maybe 3/4 done with the kindly ones and that's due back to the library soonish, so i should log off and go keep reading it!

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: boys and men - arc of smile!

i have a bad habit of just leaving tabs open instead of bookmarking them, partly because i'm terrible at organizing my bookmarks. here's a bunch of links i had open on my work laptop so i can close those tabs. some are actually or ostensibly work-related, others are not. may you find them interesting :)

Pornography and Politics: The Court, the Constitution, and the Commission (1971, Richard Funston)

Police Lie. Vermont Police Lie Too. (2026, Emily Rose for The Rake)

Federal employee charged with DUI after crash embedded his car in side of Waitsfield building (2025, Auditi Guha for VTDigger. and no, i haven't seen any updates)

World of Antiquity: Video Library [links don't work, just a reminder because a coworker recommended it. no clue if the videos have captions on youtube]

Eugenics in Vermont: Secondary Sources (University of Vermont Library)

Accounting for Those Sterilized: An Analysis of Eugenical Sterilization Certificates Filed Under Vermont’s 1931 Act for Human Betterment by Voluntary Sterilization (2024, Richard Witting)

A Signet Classic [The Fall of Valor by Charles Jackson] (2025, blog of Dartmouth's Rauner Special Collections Library)

The Steely Dan Dictionary (Dan O'Malley)

Deadhead/Danfan Conversion Chart (undated but before 2017, by Walter Becker)

"Hey Nineteen" (fan discussion and interpretations of the lyrics, circa 2004)

Words Made Flesh: Nineteenth-Century Deaf Education and the Growth of Deaf Culture by R. A. R. Edwards (2014, book review by James Trent)

Eugenics in Vermont: Sources [no clue who is responsible for this site. there is no public-facing information and i haven't reached out to the email yet.]

Juvenile Justice (2023, white paper produced by UVM's Vermont Legislative Research Service team)

there are a lot of unexpectedly striking shots, but this rare vantage point of habitat 67 is a real winner.
everyone say thank you to lawrence dane for contributing to preserving a visual record of this brutalist masterpiece

the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 5/5

but first, a quick note: this is a dreamwidth exclusive for 3weeks! often i liveblog these reviews elsewhere but i kept heatwave mostly to myself because. well. you'll see.

the plot: gordon pinsent plays a tv reporter prone to the classic male vices of the 1970s: booze, young women, and oversized gold chain necklaces. he's not necessarily ambitious but won't hesitate to seize an opportunity when it arises. there's an escaped drug runner on the loose, played by lawrence dane, and pinsent learns that he inadvertently filmed the guy while trying to do a puff piece on girls in swimsuits at the local beach. lawrence dane offers money so the footage won't air and blow his cover, which pinsent agrees to and then tries to up the ante as an easy way to make a tidy profit on the side. dane's situation is more complicated than just a prison break, though, and before long it's clear that pinsent has gotten himself in over his head.

the movie itself is just as much of a fascinating time capsule as the fashion and interior decor it presents, since it was intended as both entertainment and an educational film for english-as-second-language students (adult ones, presumably). this isn't apparent in the cut that circulates on sites like rarefilmm or that i received from the NFB when i contacted them for a copy back in 2023, but the transcript that the NFB staff kindly shared with me makes it clear since it says "classroom version" on some pages. (the transcript itself was not clear, lol, so it was a welcome surprise when i learned that vinegar syndrome's canadian-specific imprint released the film on blu-ray quite recently with full-fledged closed captioning.)

this is a solid movie, especially for a made-for-tv production. the character development does suffer a bit from its truncated run-time, but the pacing is breezy and the performances are convincing. as one moderately positive review from the time put it, "the story is a bit thin and doesn't stand up to close scrutiny, but so are all the stories in these 90-minute TV films." i might be biased but dane's a bit of a scene-stealer here, with pinsent playing his everyman character laid back enough that dane has plenty of space to take up breathing room in their shared moments without smothering the scene. the female actors do well with the little they're given, though i would have liked some more screentime for joan blackman as pinsent's wife. looks like she isn't credited for much else on imdb, which is a shame. at least it was fun seeing ken james (abel in rituals) even if i didn't recognize him at first without the glasses!

my partner (unbiased third party) says that the movie would probably rate a 3/5 overall: adequately average. my 5/5 is specifically because dane is a co-star here, for all intents and purposes, and does a believable job. not as finely nuanced as his turn in rituals (the peak of his career, lbr) but still well worth the watch. also, the visuals, my god. i can count on one (maybe two) hands the films i've seen that are this aggressively 1970s. i adore it.

one of the more amusing reviews i found for this was someone claiming with confidence that lawrence dane must be italian because he does a good job as jerry cuozzo (??? i mean, according to the italians i know he does a convincing job speaking the language in the misfire titled "only god knows", but...). can he not just be a decent actor? i think he can, and is. do give this a try if you're at all curious.

as i mentioned above, this is on blu-ray now! if you're interested, please consider buying a copy to support an indie film distributor. it comes with multiple versions of the film (regular tv release, slightly longer release, and the version that would have been used in classrooms with intertitles) and a commentary track. alas, the commentary track is not subtitled so i cannot speak to the quality or entertainment value of it, but it's there for those who can enjoy it. (if you check it out, please do let me know what fun info it has!) tbh i do think it says something that lawrence dane is more prominent than gordon pinsent on their unique cover for the home media release. they know what's up.

highlight: foaming at the mouth. gnashing my teeth. you get the idea

( i'll buy stock in HIS dairy if yuo kn )

Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: country joe & the fish - eastern jam

it can be tough for me to decide what non-dane films to watch since there's so many that all sound equally good (or so bad they must be good), so the "leaving soon" feature on the criterion channel has proven very handy. shame that shudder streaming doesn't have anything like it.

since a big batch of werner herzog movies were departing at the end of april i decided to finally educate myself and watch the handful that seemed most intriguing: signs of life (1968), aguirre (1972), and fitzcarraldo (1982). signs of life was interesting - picked it for admittedly shallow reasons but ended up appreciating what he was going for overall. finished reading le guin's the lathe of heaven for the first time before watching aguirre, which made for some interesting parallels. between aguirre and fitzcarraldo i watched magellan (2025) and that just blew them out of the water. (i was struck by fitzcarraldo and i understand now why herzog's the cult figure he is, but. you want an ambitious take on deconstructing the "great man" trope? watch magellan.)

there's a half-baked post about colonialism, language, and the spectacle of bodies in magellan vs aguirre/fitzcarraldo that i've been rolling around in my head, but first i really need to finish my review post for heatwave. that's been getting shuffled between front and back burners for months now lol. and not for lack of interest! having to choose the screencaps was Hard for me, ok, but i finally got it down to ~25. this is reminding me that i still want to order these photographs held at the ontario archives, but since they won't do a preview scan of the negatives i have to just. request all 30+ negatives. and with their fee schedule it'd run me over one thousand dollars. painful..... i've been saving up since last year and it's of the whole photoshoot that my icon is from so i know it would be an absolute win for my personal archive but still, with everything going on it feels hard to justify.

in less painful developments, tomorrow night i'm going to baby's first kink-oriented event (bootblacking, pole dancing, that kind of thing) and i'm looking forward to it since it's at a venue that requires masking for everyone all the time because covid's not over(!) but it's gonna be a bit of a drive so we'll see how much energy&time i have for working on the review this weekend. at the very least i hope to be able to get it out before three weeks for dreamwidth ends.

Current Music: steely dan - any major dude will tell you

i mentioned this idea on fedi but wanted to jot down an outline somewhere it'd be easier to format while still being open to public comment. if there's anything you think isn't already addressed here but would be helpful to see discussed pls lmk! there are no stupid questions, but i don't have the bandwidth to do the live q&a now lol.

alternatively, if anyone has fannish horror stories about storage they want to share i'm happy to include them in the presentation and discuss how they might've been avoided.

archival storage for fans on a budget (workshop the title, i'm terrible at these) - individual-scale solutions framed in a way that's accessible/relevant to fen rather than normie grannies

INTRO

dammit jim i'm an archivist not a conservator, not giving professional advice, some of this will be out of your control and that's ok. some of the solutions may be out of your current budget but let's take ibuprofen together and make informed decisions
basics of agents of deterioration, inherent vice

CORE

focus on paper-based (doujinshi, etc) but touch on things like pins, figurines, and other physical media (itabags!)
most important things to avoid if possible (touch on off-gassing, etc. eta: including plastic sleeves, thanks tabby)
what can you do on a budget? you do not need museum-grade environmental monitors.
- location in some ways more crucial than the containers
- give irl examples: larry archive, arcv doujins, hellsing merch?
- binders&c for display purposes? paging through lobby cards etc.

OTHER CONSIDERATIONS

cataloging as you go
- easy DIY collection management solutions
unbinding bound media: when is it a good idea? how to do it safely, how to label pages if needed (pencils, erasers to recommend)
address ipm? unlikely to be a concern for most fans (hopefully) but share a resource
not to be a corpo shill but... recommended vendors for officially archival-grade supplies

Current Mood: creative

was able to borrow a copy of the book through partner's university job. i know monette best from his scene-stealing turns in find the lady so i was curious whether his book says anything about his film roles. not really, since the focus is understandably on his stage career and how he became director of the stratford festival, but it's still an interesting read, especially when he's talking about his time in the stage version of "oh! calcutta".

won't be ordering a copy of this for my dane archive, so here are some notes about items of interest to my research project.

- page 41, while discussing his turn as hamlet at the crest theater in 1963/1964, about ken james (with dane in rituals, the heatwave lasted four days, cop, and others): "Horatio, Hamlet's friend and fellow student at Wittenberg University, was played by Ken James, a pugilist as well as an actor, and a man considerably older than me, even though we were supposed to be peers. One day, he turned to Marigold [Charlesworth, one of the directors] and asked, in his throaty boxer's voice: 'Hey, Marigold. How come I'm still in school with this guy? Am I a dummy?'"

it's not clear to me if this anecdote is james intending to be mean towards monette for his being 19 years old at the time, or if it's a good-natured joke about the age difference. monette doesn't indicate either way.

- page 236, about his appearances on television: "...I'd appeared in such other CBC TV dramas as Mary of Scotland, The Reluctant Agent, and Certain Practices."

the reluctant agent was a serial that lawrence dane co-wrote, and there's a couple surviving episodes available through LAC. it doesn't seem as though dane acted in it, and it's not clear to me how involved he would have been on set.

still, it's a little striking to me that he completely omits any mention of find the lady. as a proud canadian, why not mention working with john candy? was it really that much of an unmemorable blip, or did he not want to talk about it for some reason? well, we'll never know.

Current Mood: thoughtful

he plays such a dumb character in this movie. (ariel needs legs voice) i can't not fuck him

the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 3/5

the plot: remember the cop characters from "it seemed like a good idea at the time"? no? that's ok, it doesn't matter, there's no continuity here other than some reheated gags. john candy's dumb pizza-loving cop kopek and his superior officer, lawrence dane's sergeant broom, end up responsible for investigating a sexy woman's kidnapping. except there's a second kidnapping note for her, then a third. she's supposed to be making an opera debut even though she can't sing and would rather do burlesque at her boyfriend's club, but her rich guardian (played by peter cook phoning it in) is having her kidnapped for an insurance scam and she tries to kidnap herself so she doesn't have to debut. so who's responsible for the third and real kidnapping? broom and kopek do not find out. not on purpose, anyway.

like its predecessor, this is not a good movie. that said, there's a charm to it that the first movie doesn't have at all and it's mainly due to dane and candy. richard monette as a drag queen trying to help strippers with their choreography is an absolute scene-stealer and an instant highlight of the movie. i expect he and dane already knew each other since monette was part of the stratford shakespeare festival in 1965, around the same time dane was getting his start there as larry zahab, before monette went on to become its artistic director in 1994. wish i knew what their interactions were like.... this one is also complicated since it's got some period-typical anti-asian racism and other racisms as well, technically? except they're all typical examples of jokesters trying to have it both ways since every time the point seems to be that the white people are dumb/incompetent compared to the non-whites. arguably more tolerable than something like "sixteen candles" which full disclosure i never finished because of that one character. i don't know what dane would have thought, especially with his experience of being pigeonholed into roles as ethnic stereotypes when he was first starting out versus being treated as white here. the joke where dane's character thinks he needs a spanish translator for someone speaking italian is pretty funny to me tho.

he is also Very Physical With Other Men in this. sure, some of it seems like it's supposed to be along the lines of "ha ha the homophobe is made to look gay and the idea of being gay is hilarious", but i will take it. i will take his unquestioning acceptance of monette's female impersonation and his nervous attraction to the same. a fascinating follow-up to the arguably best and definitely most controversial scene from the previous movie where broom and kopek are dropping anti-gay slurs like there's no tomorrow.

this is pretty easy to find online since it's now marketed as a john candy movie which, yeah, technically. it was one of the very first movies he did, which is still notable even if he wasn't given many chances to shine. (he had a little more energy in his first movie as kopek, versus the writers now seeming more interested in emphasizing his weight and candy seems a little checked out as a result.) the recent john candy documentary included a couple clips from these two movies but didn't discuss either at all, which seemed a little strange to me. (the documentary also completely omitted any mention of the clown murders, which is a shame because it's one of the first roles where he was given something a little meatier.) the documentary didn't really get into his beginnings as a film actor even though it was focused a lot on his feelings as an actor, so i was a little disappointed in that but otherwise it's a fine feature and you should consider watching it. should you consider watching find the lady? i mean, i guess? for dane, sure. he's in it enough that a dane cut isn't warranted, and it's not unfunny imo. mickey rooney as one of the criminals gives a mildly amusing performance in the dane-less scenes. watching it under some kind of influence might get you the best results tbh.

highlight: there was a bit where he was combing his hair while looking in the rearview mirror. very sexy of him

( acab but also. yknow )

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: colours - smilin' in toronto

thank you for your interest in whatever we matched on! here's some thoughts to help you with your chosen assignment :D

GENERAL LIKES REGARDLESS OF SHIP/CHARACTER:

- awkward first times (date, kiss, sex, hand-holding, conversations, etc)
- obvious crushes
- vomiting and/or sickfic where the one that's sick is the one that's usually very concerned about self-image and/or easily flustered
- situational humiliation (e.g. becoming nauseous in public, trying to hide a boner in public, blurting something out, coming untouched/ejaculating in pants, etc)
- premature orgasm and/or multiple orgasms
- breeding/pregnancy kink
- trans characters
- bossy bottoms
- priest kink. seduce that priest!!! ditto teacher kink. love figures of authority abusing their power, but also potentially being abused :3c role reversals are very tasty~
- related to the above, uniforms! generally wwii era or earlier
- with trans men, i looooove gushing (aka squirting but that word makes me uncomfortable lol. you get the idea tho) and it can be part of orgasm or something preceding orgasm, i just really enjoy that being part of the whole sexual package.
- dubcon! i can enjoy noncon too but it's more situational, so dubcon is the easier way to go. intoxication, manipulation, mixed messages, being in denial.... if it's in-character, it's good!

rituals (1977) - mitzi/anyone

- i adore this movie and i adore mitzi. i do love the idea of mitzi having pre-canon "no homo" interactions with marty, but i would also be very curious to see how people interpret his interactions with any of the other characters from the movie! he and harry clearly have a rich and complicated history that harry doesn't want to talk about and mitzi only brings up when he's trying to guilt harry or seek solidarity in shared experiences.... and he's known the other doctors for a long time as well. hell, if you want to explore whether something might happen with the pilot before their breakfast, be my guest. his reaction to the pilot showing off that surgery scar was kind of indecipherable....

- i enjoy the way he drops a slur or two in the movie like he's scared of looking at what he could become, but i don't think he'd noncon another man. just give me mitzi being a catty and confused repressed middle-aged man!

- see also: multipurpose dear creator letter

DO NOT WANT: please don't do anything erotic with his death. the scene in general, sure, with the rope bondage and everything, but not the actual process of being killed and dying.

reanimator - carl hill/herbert west

- they are both unapologetically exploitative people in different ways. they hate each other because they're more similar than they'd like to admit! they don't like the funhouse mirror being held up to them! hill wanting what he can't have, west wanting to do what he's told he shouldn't, hill's jealousy of west's youthful drive, the endless possibilities of hypnosis.....

- hill force-femming a (trans) west is classic, always love that. west somehow penetrating hill's esophagus, whether it's the part still attached to hill's body or the part that's attached to his head, and hill being shocked and ashamed by how good it feels to what's left of his senses/psyche would be chef kiss.

- these are nasty people so go as nasty as you want! i love misuse of human organs for sexual purposes, vomit, reagent/drug abuse, mind control, making dan sit in the cuck chair, evil sexy misgendering of a trans man, object insertion, hill unexpectedly orgasming while being decapitated...basically if it would fit in the movie i will love it.

DO NOT WANT: no scat and no consensual daddy dom stuff, pls, any daddy dom stuff must be in the context of hill being a creep.

- see also: multipurpose dear creator letter

teen titans (2003 cartoon) - brother blood/cyborg

- ok brother blood is such a weird guy in the teen titans cartoon i need more of him. he just wants to have a nice school! but he's also obsessed with this teenager to the point of wanting to emulate him?? and cyborg is only briefly won over. the desperation of this man... my favorite dynamic is when blood has cyborg cornered somehow and his blatant thirst is not deterred by cyborg's repeated refusals, but he still wants cyborg to like him!

- love this staying one-sided. also love the fucked up teacher/student dynamic. so sexy. please also feel free to lean into the pseudo-religious elements! i do prefer brother blood before his body modding but that could be fun to explore too. something about modeling his new body off of cyborg's in more ways than one...?

DO NOT WANT: no daddy dom stuff please.

find the lady (1976) - kopek/broom

- they are both so incompetent it's adorable. broom berates kopek all the time but at the end kopek offers to donate his vacation time to broom! they should accidentally end up sharing a bed and things escalate without them meaning to make it happen. slapstick mutual masturbation. misunderstandings culminating in broom bottoming and he keeps bitching but loves it actually.

- i love vomit and piss and i can see one of them making a mess somehow so the other one has to care for him and also clean up.

- feel free to include the bruce larousse character! that actor is an absolute delight and i am so curious about broom's interest in bruce's drag getup.

DO NOT WANT: no daddy dom stuff please, unless it's played for laughs.

- warning if you choose to watch the movie: there's some racist jokes involving an east-asian character, but it's not nearly as bad as what's in 16 candles. there's also a joke about a black cabaret performer in white-face. it's all oddly self-aware (the jokes are usually more about the white characters/viewers' expectations) so it's mostly just. very strange lol.

rpf - john candy/lawrence dane

- they worked together on three movies before candy's career really took off, and there's a very touching quote from dane in a book about candy:

“He celebrated too hard,” remembers Dane. “He opened up the faucet and it all came out. It was as if he said to himself, ‘My mortality is on a string, so I might as well throw caution to the wind.' Unfortunately he attracted people who wanted to take advantage of him. And it seemed to me he was just terribly hard on himself.”

i'd love to see something that explores how dane came away with this impression of him.

- feel free to lean into the 14-year age gap!

DO NOT WANT: no noncon or daddy dom stuff please. any dubcon should be abortive and not go beyond intoxicated groping. vomit ok but no other non-sexual fluids with these two please.

smiling friends - charlie/allan

- these two are so awkward with each other it gives me life. charlie has a hard time reading allan and allan finds charlie a little easier to read except for the times charlie just comes at him from out of left field and they get into a fight. a sexy fight. i like the idea of charlie being the older one. allan isn't very humanoid compared to charlie or pim so please have fun with fantasy/alien genitalia if you go in that direction!

– i love it when they're in mundane situations and it goes sideways. the gang goes to the laundromat and they forget something important. charlie's trying to give himself a t shot and allan startles him so he messes up the injection. allan coming back to charlie's apartment after examining it during s2e5. what about the rest of the wedding at the beginning of that episode, before or after the ceremony? did charlie try to put any drunken moves on allan? did he throw up in front of allan? on him??

- if you prefer musical inspo: tom cardy's "mixed messages" is them (charlie is the singer)

dc comics - jimmy olsen/superman

-i specifically like the version of them in the 1950s comics, where jimmy has the fan club and is constantly getting himself in trouble and trusting superman will come save him. he's canonically a teenager so as long as he's under 20 you can do whatever :3

- jimmy likes crossdressing. he likes it a lot. maybe something where he poses as a girl hoping for superman's attention but instead it lands him in hot water and supes has to perform a cool rescue and decide whether to tell jimmy he knew all along....

- i like superman being awkward and not sure what to do with jimmy's advances, regardless of whether it's one-sided or mutual. i also like the idea of him gently reciprocating because he does care for this kid.... maybe as an alien he doesn't fully appreciate the gravity of what it can mean to have sex with someone, let alone another man?

- you can read several of the comics online! i would be so tickled to get something in this style, whether written or visual.

DO NOT WANT: no daddy dom stuff please. no jimmy transformations involving weight gain.

yugioh arcv - shingo/gongenzaka

- i am fascinated by gongenzaka growing to tolerate and even support shingo. how much of that is for yuuya's sake? how much of that is because shingo allows himself to be changed by yuuya? by gongenzaka?

- it would be really cute for yuuya to make them go on a get-along date and they do in fact end up getting along, even if it's a bit of a disaster at first.

- please feel free to have background yuuya/shingo in this! background shingo/yuzu is also fine :D shingo throws himself at a lot of people but he does love yuuya and the people that yuuya loves. no mentions of sora or dennis tho please lol.

-i live for trans shingo. i will die for trans shingo. him wanting to prove his own kind of masculinity against gongenzaka's, especially if it includes him trying to assert sexual dominance and topping from the bottom? i could read endless variations on that theme.

- gongenzaka is big. trans shingo is a size queen. 2 + 2 = incredible sex. if shingo can get him to cooperate.

DO NOT WANT: no sora and no dennis. no blushing uke shingo. no feederism please.

- see also: multipurpose dear creator letter

jjba - kira/hayato

- the bathroom scene. the scene where kira is taunting hayato about the time loop. need i say more.

long time no post, but who cares. i'm alive and kicking and that's what matters. yesterday i saw that letterboxd posted a recommendation list of lesser-known summer horror movies and it included rituals! i was so proud and excited (even though i did nothing to make that happen lol) that i just had to watch it again. didn't get to do my yearly re-watch in april because i was in the middle of a big move and job change, all for the better so far, and i'm going camping this weekend so what better choice for a last-night-in-civilization movie than one about a camping trip gone horribly wrong??

it's not as texture-rich a movie as some others i've rewatched, sure, but i still feel as though there's something new for me to chew on every time. it's like a piece of gum that never loses its flavor, with all the pros and cons that implies (microplastics, etc).

this time i came away really wanting to watch picnic at hanging rock (i know, way overdue!) because the sag in energy once jesse is introduced was practically palpable and it reminded me of how the screenwriter hadn't wanted to take that direction originally, but also because that movie sounds like it's more about the relationships and dynamics between a group of younger women than any horror just like how the focus of rituals feels more locked in on the relationships and dynamics between these middle-aged men than the gritty details of their suffering.

( musings on trauma and isolation as themes )

Current Mood: thoughtful
Current Location: work lol

two log cabins with snow on the roofs in a wintery forest the text snowflake challenge january 1 - 31 in white cursive text

Challenge #4

Since this is the start of a new year, this challenge will be to set your own goals! Of course we can all make large or ambitious goals, remember that small and/or short goals are also good! Post your answer to today’s challenge in your own space and leave a comment in this post saying you did it. Include a link to your post if you feel comfortable doing so.

- i want to write and draw more often. signed up to

getyourwordsout for a boost with my writing habits, and just now my partner was talking to me about how i used to draw a lot more back in 2014-2016 so that gave me the idea to start with baby steps and get back into doodling while watching something that doesn't require my full attention. even just once a month should be good. there's also my art piece for

ygorarepairs but i started that last year, so....

- make progress with uploading backlogged reviews from dreamwidth to lawrencedane.com. might need to redo some of the screenshots since idr if i kept the uncropped originals when doing the earliest ones, but i'll enjoy getting those again if needed.

- and speaking of my man larry, maybe a nice shorter-term goal would be to get a post up somewhere about "heavenly bodies" in time for his birthday. i've already done some background research on the production and reception, i've watched it once, and now i have the blu-ray so image/video grabs should be a breeze. biggest obstacle really is deciding how to structure the review since he didn't act in it, lol.

- finish my makuderu fst and upload it to the appropriate comm(s) since i started it a couple years ago so it's time to stop sitting on it!!

- another shorter-term goal: do year 3 of my hellsing mini exchange with more promo and see how it goes so i can contribute that experience to a citruscon panel about organizing fan events.

five goals for 2025, nice. i think these are decent low-pressure goals that'll still help me feel accomplished no matter how stressful the rest of my year ends up being.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: the hidden cameras - that's when the ceremony starts

the way his handwriting stands out, the height difference, the playing with his suspenders, the hhggrAAAGH

the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 2.5/5

the plot: a small-town lumberjack gets injured in a lumberjack competition with money riding on it, and our doggy hero smells sabotage. also there's hockey-related posters wherever possible. could this be any more canadian? it's very much a children's show and it shows in the writing and overall lack of imagination in the direction, though at least unlike wishbone there's no annoying children (not in this episode anyway).

that said, dane's acting is more than decent given the context and he has so much screentime. so so much. i wanted to rate this more highly because he's in this a lot and he's still in the era where to me he is in peak physical form (roughly speaking my preference is for 1967-1987, 1990 at the latest, though of course he's devastatingly handsome prior to 1967 too) but i showed this to an objective yet still supportive second party and they said that in their opinion it'd merit a 2 at most because, well, it's a children's tv show episode. nothing especially artistic about it, and even from a cultural studies angle there's not a lot going on that'd be interesting to analyze. which isn't to say there's nothing--i do find myself curious about the way they styled the appearances of the "bad guys" and the hint of a backstory for one of them that goes completely unexplored--but if i take off my horny goggles i'm compelled to agree with the lower rating since you wouldn't be missing much by not watching this, so the 2.5 is my compromise between id and ego.

this is pretty easy to find online with autocaptions at the moment, though it seems that the only version available is one specific vhs rip of a tv recording since i've yet to see any uploads with better quality. here's the episode on youtube, and here it is on the internet archive (episode 5x08).

highlight: those eyes......

( there is so much in this children's tv show episode that can be taken out of context it makes me feel ill )

Current Mood: horny
Current Music: will johnson - just to know what you've been dreaming

the "is this worth watching for lawrence dane" rating: 0/5

he doesn't show up until an hour into the movie (-1); he only has the one scene (-1); the movie's script is weak and the direction is a hot mess (-2); it has charlie sheen (-100000).

the plot: a potentially interesting biopic about the brothers responsible for "behind the green door" and key players in the onset of the brief era known as porno chic. the movie kind of gets into the legality & ethics of it all but cares more about the interpersonal drama between the brothers and doesn't do justice to either topic. maybe if you go into this with rock-bottom expectations you'll find it enjoyable despite charlie sheen?

despite having an almost two-hour runtime it feels like the movie was trying to cram in too much and didn't have a clear vision beyond "check out these two assholes". like, why even bother to incorporate dane's turn as a mafioso if they're not coming back to the mafia poaching the movie due to lax intellectual property/copyright protections for erotica? what was the point? don't get me wrong, great look for him, fun performance, but why was it necessary? there's a lot of scenes that seem like they're supposed to be connected to something else but ultimately aren't. disappointing.

( scene starts with him holding up a nudie mag so enjoy but also beware )

this time i swear next review will be the littlest hobo episode. he was very cute and charming and one of the main characters to boot. a great palate cleanser after the trainwreck of this movie.

Current Mood: amused
Current Music: the mountain goats - horseradish road

the way that shirt drapes over his torso..............

the "is this worth watching for lawrence dane" rating: 2.5/5

he has a pleasantly meaty role as the secondary guest star. top-billed guest is ricardo montalbán (!) and they play off each other quite well; it's believable that they're childhood friends. he gets to sing a little, play with guns, have a ponytail thing and unleash his curly hair, be charming but also menacing... that fake facial hair looks so bad tho, it's tragic. (i know i said i was gonna do him in the littlest hobo next but it was the 56th anniversary recently of this episode's air date so. there we go)

the plot: the episode opens with dane and his group of métis fur trappers intercepting the main characters; the cowboys are looking for an inn and the fur trappers are not welcoming. it turns out they're all looking for the same inn - one that happens to be owned by a character clearly modeled off the real-life louis riel, played by montalbán. dane's group has come to try and persuade him to return to canada after the british government reneged on promises made to the métis and first nations in exchange for montalbán's exile. meanwhile, there's a subplot between one of the main characters and montalbán's wife where apparently she used to be a desperate scammer trying to support her son and scammed the guy out of money he was carrying. (what is it with this show and people getting butthurt about their boss's money? same thing in scathelock lol.) instead of letting her get away with the money so she could feed herself and her son, he ratted her out to the cops and she lost custody of her son. and he's supposed to be the good guy?? at least he respects her wishes not to reveal her past to montalbán. they both have no idea who the other person was before they met.

there's a lot in this episode about past lives and social perceptions, but it doesn't really go anywhere because the majority of the episode is dedicated to the political intrigue around montalbán's character and figuring out the motives of dane's character. i couldn't bring myself to care about anything involving the main characters tbh but montalbán and his wife, played by lois nettleton (who i know best from the "midnight sun" episode of the twilight zone) work well together. i think montalbán just works well with a lot of people haha he had a commanding screen presence! dane does a pretty good job holding his own in their shared scenes, though.

since he features relatively prominently, i haven't done a dane cut. at the moment the episode is available via amazon for free if you can tolerate the ads, or elsewhere if you know where to look (season 7 episode 5, tho it might be mislabeled in some s7 torrents).

highlight: i really enjoy seeing him with the facial hair! such a shame it's so obviously fake that it only looks good in low light :pensive:

( joke about jacques and cocks sounding similar that i'm too tired to string together )

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: buffalo springfield - i am a child

the "is this worth watching for lawrence dane" rating: 0/5

he was listed right after hal holbrook on imdb, and holbrook's is the last "featured" name on the poster, so i thought he might still have a handful of scenes. he had One scene and it was less than three minutes long not even 20 minutes into the movie. i watched the whole thing because i was so sure he was gonna come back given the film's apparent emphasis on the main character's political wheeling and dealing. nope. maybe his character was more prominent in the book?

the plot: i actually watched this while it was on the criterion channel and i still don't understand why it was on there. it was basically just a hallmark movie with slightly better production values and acting. nothing conceptually original or aesthetically inspired to redeem it like scanners. boringly broad social stereotypes (the uptight yuppie falls in love with the hippie radical! he has man pain because she dies following her dreams and he compromises his own dreams so he's seeing or hallucinating her ghost out of white guilt! or maybe she didn't actually die, dun dun dun, waking the dead more like wake me up i'm dead asleep) and the pacing is strange. there's moments with reasonably striking cinematography but they're few and far in-between; i can see how this would've been a better movie in the right hands, but as it is i really don't think this was worth watching all the way through.

the best part was dane sharing the screen with holbrook again. like a rituals au where mitzi survived and he went into politics with harry, lol. even the dynamic between them was similar and dane's character said "fag" just like mitzi in rituals. full circle! here's the scene so you can see for yourself, and the obligatory screenshots are below.

( at least they gave him a suit that isn't comically oversized like the one they made him wear in his tropical heat episode )

it's been way too long since i felt like i had the time and brainpower to sit down and do one of these. feels great to do it again even if this one is on the short side. think next time i'm gonna review his episode of the littlest hobo because it was unexpectedly VERY erotic. he gets chained up!! look forward to it :3

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: leonard cohen - the law

a while back i intended to write an updated review of HBTM reflecting my newer position of "ok it wasn't that bad, i was just expecting something different, so it could have a higher rating" but now i'm getting 'round to it.

so:

the "is this worth watching for lawrence dane" rating: 3/5
dane's not in this a ton but his part is reasonably substantial and he's very cute in each of his scenes and when he's finally hamming it up at the end he's so fun to watch. he's very handsy and god i wish that girl were me, etc. it's a pretty bad movie but charmingly bad for the most part, as opposed to just boring. certainly more entertaining than some of the other bad movies he's been in. i might make/link a dane cut later.

the plot: whenever people talk about this movie they talk about how the twist ending was written at the last minute after they'd filmed like half the story. there's no way to avoid talking about that because the plot is a mess and executed in a bizarre way with all these comically ominous attempts at making everyone a red herring. is it a good movie? no. but it's a fascinating one. there was something at its core that could have been really good, and the wildly uneven acting skills just drive that home. dane and his character's wife are the best actors in this movie, plus one of the "high school" guys. there's a threat about keeping them out of harvard so i assume they're not college age? but they all look way too old for high school, every last one of them. very confusing. anyway, i stand by my original conclusion that "if you get drunk/high you'll probably have a great time watching this".

note to self for website version/later: find those reviews mocking how often dane said ginny lol.

Current Mood: high
Current Music: ahorza mazda - spacy tracy

baby boy. baby

the "is this worth watching for lawrence dane" rating: 5/5

this is the role that launched his career. the apparent controversy over its content certainly helped, but he really does give a terrific performance here considering he would've been just 22 and still new to acting. (it was filmed in january of 1960, according to the director's account, and his 23rd birthday would have been that april.) he's a bit limited by the dire straits his character finds himself in, so he's not given a lot of substantial dialogue but when he needs to deliver real emotion then BOY does he deliver. also he is just so handsome here; when you combine this with his friend gordon pinsent describing him as "the Very Tall, Dark, and Ruggedly Handsome Lawrence Z. Dane" with a tendency to be "immediately drawn to the most beautiful girl in the room" when they were working together on another 1960 production, it's easy to believe he had plenty of luck with his flirting.

the other actors are good, especially the man who plays rigger (father of the man dane's character is accused of killing). it's a stage-y production because it is meant to be a televised play, and it's interesting seeing how theatrical styles and expectations have changed since the 1960s.

the plot: in a remote australian mining town during the 1800s, a man's son is found dead. near the body is a drunken young ex-convict named jem, played by dane. the boy's father wants to hang jem right then and there, but jem is defended by his boss and the father is persuaded to hold a trial instead. in an attempt to ensure fairness, jem's boss is assigned to prosecute him and his defense is left in the hands of the dead boy's father.

spoiler alert, jem is hanged. if the viewer wasn't already dismayed by the sense of injustice suggested throughout the play, dane's performance makes it pretty upsetting. this was the crux of the controversy - the show's sponsor, General Motors, felt that the scene was too graphic and pulled its sponsorship but the CBC decided to air the show anyway. all of the reviews at the time mention this and praise the CBC for pushing through.

however, the version i got from LAC includes the sponsorship! (i also had to do some editing because it was digitized with a couple scenes out of order somehow but anyway.) given the director's description of the filming, i think the LAC version was a slightly censored re-run. that said, being able to see, what, 99% of it is enough to make me agree with the reviewers who took notice of him. david macdonald wrote for the ottawa journal that "A group of Australian outlanders hanged a young Ottawa actor on television the other night and a star was born." he went on to quote the director paul almond saying "Larry Zahab is a very powerful actor. I have great hopes for him" and editorialized that "Indications are that Mr. Almond's hope has not been misplaced." gordon bell with the calgary albertan wrote that "The debut of young Ottawa actor Larry Zahab on the national TV scene marks the opening of a potentially fine acting career." i'd like to think they were both right, even if he didn't land very many leading-man roles.

and about the director's description of the filming.... according to a lengthy anecdote in almond's book "the inheritor", dane decided to pull the mother of all pranks and pretend that a harness malfunction led to him being well and truly hanged while this was being filmed essentially LIVE. talk about good method acting i guess?? i love what this tells us about him lol. becoming an actor certainly helped him get over his shyness quickly by any rate.

this is a crucial part of his filmography and personal history and i'm so glad i could finally witness it. in order to respect the agreement i signed with the CBC/LAC and not be blacklisted as a researcher, lol, i will not be hosting this anywhere online for now. please contact me if you are interested in viewing this production.

highlight: just look at those gorgeous eyes. wish it weren't fading in from another shot but still. beautiful man.

( he's a gem as jem )

Current Mood: affectionate
Current Music: Wolf Parade - An Animal In Your Care

yes i made this my icon a while back, just look at that absolutely adorable face

the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 1/5

it looks like my original rating for this episode was 0.5/5, but i rewatched it recently in order to write this post and would have given it a 1.5, maybe a 2, so i'll split the difference by giving it a one. i was prompted to put this together because i was reminded that dec 10 was the anniversary air date of this episode, though the post itself was delayed because i've been fighting covid.... maybe that's why i was feeling more generous with my rating this time around. but burr debenning is good as the sleazy Bad Guy du jour and anne helm gives a solid performance, so it's not a drag watching the dane-less parts.

the plot: a visibly young-looking guy who i guess was a new series regular or something is sent to take care of business instead of the main character, since the main character has to deal with something more urgent. he suffers some frankly comical prejudice from older men who are skeptical of him due to his age, then proceeds to basically prove them right when he gets scammed by a man and woman who make off with a shitload of money meant for a business deal. he tracks them to the canadian border where lawrence dane is helping them hide out.

you don't need to know anything about the series to watch this one, really, since all the important facts are communicated pretty well early on. the pacing is slow - the episode is about 75 minutes long and dane shows up for the last third of it - but if you think of it as a short film then the pacing works better. the acting isn't terrible, though dane's character as written is kinda cartoonish (still cute tho) and the plot twist during the climax felt a little like an ass-pull. also, the conflict in the second half was kind of incomprehensible to me: baby-face man is mad at the female half of the con artist team because she took "his" money, but she points out multiple times that it's not his but rather his boss's money and it's money that was gonna go to yet another rich asshole so it's not worth risking getting murdered for, and he simply has no argument for this. he just goes "you don't understand" and that's the end of that? lmao. he'd probably report desperate walmart shoplifters to the police.

at least dane's character is less morally confused - he'll help whoever pays him best but he's not gonna risk actually getting arrested. is he a "good" guy? no, but honestly i respect him more than the guy who seems like he'd defend shitty landlords. and the man knows how to cook omelettes! i can ignore the attempt at a french-sounding accent because at least he tried and he's still a delight to watch. such an easy physicality....

dane cut is here, no autocaptions, sorry, but this season 8 episode isn't hard to find online with captions if you're willing to sit through ads or watch a low-res vhs rip (or pirate it, but it's been difficult for me to locate english subtitle files). if you're just curious about dane, then skip to about 47 minutes in.

highlight: *screaming white cat gif* *disney stitch licking glass gif*

( he sure looked good in westerns )

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: mumford & sons - awake my soul

the past couple weeks have been mentally exhausting and spiritually draining etc etc but i tried using this past weekend to recover and then i have most of this week off so i'm looking forward to doing some writing. it's really easy to get into a cycle of "i feel bad so it's hard for me to write, but not writing makes me feel bad, but when i feel bad i can't write" (ad infinitum). so when i saw

tempural post this writers meme it sounded like a great idea to do it myself. i'm good enough, i'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like my writing. so if you've also been having a hard time, consider giving this a try!

Rules: go through your last 5 posted fics and share the first and last line. No context.

1: surface reading

first: Bumblebee got there just too late.

last: He had bigger things to worry about at the moment.

2: the hands of other men

first: Maurice had heard of Father Wilhelm Burnell before.

last: “I’ve heard of you.”

3: wartime is no time to grieve

first: Enrico Maxwell was dead.

last: There was nothing God could do now that would be worse than this night.

4: chapter two of "Malis Avibus": Love in Suffering

first: West of Versailles the land was gripped by plague, bubonic fingers digging deep even into fortified towns like Loudun.

last: They were neglecting their duties in their unseemly excitement, Sister Bakura thought as they watched the young ladies too busy giggling over Loudun’s most notorious priest to give any thought to their devotions.

5: anybody else's touch

first: Amelda wasn’t sure how he’d ended up here under Kaiba’s boot.

last: The certainty helped him hold his head high on his way out past all the employees’ knowing eyes.

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riding the echo down

into the silver dawn

Recent Entries

Sticky: have you heard of lawrence dane? no? well now you have

writing thots

millennium (1989)

summer update

link roundup: what it says on the tin

the heatwave lasted four days (1975)

stray thoughts

thoughts for a pre-recorded con panel: archival storage for your yaoi

notes from richard monette's "this rough magic"

find the lady (1976)

10itemsorless signup/exchange letter

the beginning and end overlap, and that's the middle

snowflake challenge #4 - goals for 2025

the littlest hobo: lumberjacks (1983)

rated x (2000)

the virginian - the wind of outrage (1968)

waking the dead (2000)

happy birthday to me 2.0

shadow of a pale horse (1960)

the virginian: journey to scathelock (1969)

first/last lines meme