miscellanium (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
miscellanium) wrote2022-05-07 01:05 pm
miscellanium) wrote2022-05-07 01:05 pm
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happy birthday to me (1981)
yeah that's what watching this movie felt like
the "is it worth watching this for lawrence dane" rating: 1/5
in short, no. this movie is........interesting. the closest comparison i can think of is the 1982 horror movie "pieces". they both have wildly uneven acting, a sincerity that enters camp territory, and bizarre twist endings out of fucking nowhere. watching it just for lawrence dane was not worth it, though, since he only has four scenes totaling less than 30 minutes. he had third billing so i felt let down, but hopefully that means he got a good paycheck for this trainwreck.
the plot: lmao what plot. look up any review of it and you'll see people talking about how the people involved re-wrote the ending well into production so the result is a disjointed mess. i don't watch horror movies to ooh and ahh over how creative the murders are or whatever so like..... let's put it this way. if i'd gone into this wanting to watch a shitty horror movie for the sake of watching a shitty movie, not for a specific actor, i probably would have enjoyed this more. especially in the last third of the movie where it starts being really campy. all three of the reviews i linked above are from people who liked it and, to be fair, it's not the worst movie i've seen. but if the criteria is "was this worth it for lawrence dane" then prepare to be disappointed.
i was very confused as to what we were supposed to think of dane's character; were we supposed to be sympathetic towards him as a father trying to save/protect his daughter? were we supposed to blame him for everything that happened since apparently the catalyst for all this bullshit was him being out of town on a business trip during his daughter's birthday some years ago? both??? it was weird and i got the feeling there was more filmed that'd explain things but it got left on the cutting room floor lol.
the plot: lmao what plot. look up any review of it and you'll see people talking about how the people involved re-wrote the ending well into production so the result is a disjointed mess. i don't watch horror movies to ooh and ahh over how creative the murders are or whatever so like..... let's put it this way. if i'd gone into this wanting to watch a shitty horror movie for the sake of watching a shitty movie, not for a specific actor, i probably would have enjoyed this more. especially in the last third of the movie where it starts being really campy. all three of the reviews i linked above are from people who liked it and, to be fair, it's not the worst movie i've seen. but if the criteria is "was this worth it for lawrence dane" then prepare to be disappointed.
i was very confused as to what we were supposed to think of dane's character; were we supposed to be sympathetic towards him as a father trying to save/protect his daughter? were we supposed to blame him for everything that happened since apparently the catalyst for all this bullshit was him being out of town on a business trip during his daughter's birthday some years ago? both??? it was weird and i got the feeling there was more filmed that'd explain things but it got left on the cutting room floor lol.
highlight: wet and making a face like he's getting a blowjob.... nice
none of the following screencaps have been altered. warning for some gore
i almost had a heart attack first time i saw this because there's old photos of my father from the 80s with the same glasses lmfao at least he takes them off right away
wish that could've been me :pensive:
standing like a SLUT i love it
*licks his hand*
THE LITTLE DANCE WAS SO CUTE AAAAA WISH THAT WERE ME
annnnnd this is when he starts really chewing the scenery. his earlier scenes were okay, if a little on the hammy side in places, but this director really did not do a good job coaxing a naturalistic performance out of him. and we KNOW he can be phenomenal, he's amazing as mitzi in rituals and other roles, but here.... oh boy
he yells like he's auditioning to do a parody of marlon brando in a streetcar named desire lmao
he's not sexualized nearly enough in this movie but that won't stop me from ogling his ass whenever i can
this had me in HYSTERICS and i don't think it was supposed to be funny lmfao
he's sobbing because she dug up his dead wife's rotting corpse and also murdered all these people and she. puts a funny hat on him. christ
and then he gets his throat slashed and dies and almost faceplants into the cake lmdfkhjskgf the end